Posted in black excellence, black love, life, love, movie

Wakanda Love Do You Have?

Coming off of the Wakanda filled love bomb of a movie “Black Panther” I have been completely overjoyed with the results of our blackness. This movie surpassed any and every expectation that I may have had for anything Marvel (I mean, I was never a fan, but now that has dramatically changed). This movie has not only surpassed my expectations but box office projections and movie goers expectations as well. It has shattered several records in just four days of it’s opening. Talk about histor(y)ic?! During BLACK HISTORY MONTH too?! Nothing short of amazing!

When I tell you that the director, Ryan Coogler, brought forth a tale of Black love, he literally laid this screenplay adaptation of black excellence at our feet. I have not seen such sheer emotion, admiration, and overall joy for a movie…ever from the black community like I have with this film. Especially those films that depicts blacks in anyway that is not of strength and resilience. What “Black Panther” did for Black/African communities across the world, is that it brought us together, gave us all a sense of pride (Black/African) in just 2 hours and 14 minutes. The imagery, the togetherness, the crowning of the strength of the black man was unmatched. The depictions that we’re given in this movie is everything that we hope and pray for in our everyday lives, right here in America.

Those who have seen the movie saw the huge role that the women of Wakanda held. Which brings me to the ask of “Wakanda love do you have?” The women that we saw depicted were equivalent to any other women of valor and strength that I know. They were smart, leaders, loving, kind, strong (mentally and physically), gentle, understanding and a backbone. A backbone people. The chief (not Indian) supporting system of the organization of men of Wakanda and today’s climate of men, our men. The driving force in a lot of homes, some single, others dual but the force, and one to be reckoned with if I must say so myself.

As I watched how the women were gatekeepers, if you will, to the community in which they lived, I could not help but feel great pride. Pride because even when our backs are against a wall we will ride for our men, the men that’s beaten down on a daily by the outside, and help them to remember why they are crowned king. Now, don’t get me wrong, not every woman possess these traits or characteristics, yet not all are privy to understanding or has been shown how to use what they have. Let’s take it up a notch. Every woman has it, yet has not been blessed to show the right man, or have the right man to bring it out of her. The same goes for our men. The traits to be an asset to “A” woman are there, yet the right woman to show them has yet to make her presence felt or he has failed to recognize her. When this happens we suffer as a community. We aren’t able work collaboratively like the characters of the utopia society of “Wakanda”. Why is that??

This is an age old question that is bounced around by both parties yet no one seems to put forth a collaborative (there goes that word again) effort to resolve the problem. Yes, problem. It has moved from a situation, to an issue, to now what we have as a problem, a major one if you ask me, hell any of us. The problem, can and will be fixed once we effectively communicate our needs separately and as one. I have faith in humanity. I have faith in US and I believe that it will happen, sooner rather than later. This movie has pushed the narrative of togetherness. It showed us what it looks like when we come together “under one band, and one sound” and until it happens I will keep playing my part.

I anticipate the day that the right man comes along and helps to inspire my growth and I awaken his senses and inspire him as well. When we water one another we blossom, we grow, we are loved, we are love and we are Wakanda love we’ve been missing. Keep watering, keep planting seeds because once sprouted and when awakened we are Kings and Queens of all soiled ground of which we dwell. 🙅🏾‍♀️ Wakanda love that your are looking for?!?!🙅🏾‍♀️🙅🏾‍♀️

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Posted in Parenting, Fatherhood, Black Men

Broken Barriers…The Interlude. 

“Papa was a rolling stone where ever he lay his hat was his home….”

The men, where are they? There are a vast number of men who are making babies but are not making good fathers. These same men receive praise and admiration from individuals for being what some may deem as a “good man” yet they are the epitome of a deadbeat. These same men have multiple children by multiple women, with a lack mentality pertaining to the relationships. Why? Because there isn’t one. If there is a relationship, most of the time these men choose to deal only with the child/mother that does not bring him the most grief.  Why are so many men able to leave his hat like it’s his home, yet keep rolling?! The effect that most of these men leave on their children last a lifetime when not rectified. Unfortunately, for many children, it’s never truly rectified rather stored in a trunk of broken feelings and emotions.

We have a plethora of adults who, in age, has matured, yet not in mentality. It’s hard to expect much from men or women who does not have the skills needed to maintain healthy relationships. So many of our children are raised in single parent homes by women who were left to care for her children by herself. Then add the feelings of neglect and/or abandonment by the child  because their father was not present. A tough pill to swallow don’t you think?! Even still I refuse to make excuses for weak men and their behaviors in which they exude. So many men choose to make excuses and take the easy way out because hell it’s way easier then having to “combat” with their child’s mother. One thing I notice these men NEVER have a problem doing is committing to another broken relationship, their jobs or their selfish ways. Never ever have I saw this type of committment pose a problem for any man anywhere, however short or long term it may be. So here we are left with excuses but again guys are  committed to friends and friendship building yet can never find the time to commit to rearing their child and building them up. Interesting….whatever happened to “iron sharpens iron?”

Where are the righteous men who speak to the unrighteous when he sees him failing miserably? Does the family of the man who can do better encourage them to do so? Does the woman you choose to commit to encourage you to be better all around? We can’t continue to build these guys up in one area without doing so in totality. In my opinion ANY man who chooses to turn their back to their child for whatever the reason other than an attempt on your life, is simply, not shit. Regardless of all other accolades and triumphs one may have or continue to have in life, choosing to be a lackluster parent over shadows all other things obtained.

There are so many children suffering because one or both parents decided that raising them was just not part of their story…at that time. These same children, often times seek validation from whomever/whatever they can to make up for the lack from the parent(s) not being active. Imagine, young women lacking self love or love from her father so they utilize their sacred bodies to attract it. Now we deal with a potential onset of promiscuity. Imagine, young men, lacking self love or love of his father, so they become angry and turn to violence, mischief, gangs, and or drugs. These young men too become a shell of themselves and utilize their bodies the same as the young women. What we now have begun to create is a vicious cycle of lack. Lack of love, trust, care, manners, and respect for themselves and for others. When do men take accountability for helping to create these broken barriers within the youth, their youth?

Many men, black specifically, have not dealt with their own unresolved childhood issues that becomes more and more transparent the older they become. The transparency is seen in how they choose to finagle through life and the decisions they make while doing so. Again, a vicious cycle. When will people begin to hold these individuals accountable? When will they take onus? It’s never too late.

The world in which we live in is changing by the day. Is this not enough to make you want to change. Increase the love factor in yourself, your surroundings and decrease the fear factor on why you aren’t a better you for you and your child. Our children deserve more than your begrudgened ways. They deserve the kings that are deep within that seeks to be discovered. It’s time to alleviate the bullshyt and allow yourselves to be crowned. Be a father to your child, be a better man to yourself and break these barriers.

Posted in life, love

Who’s Raising You?

Ok, first I want to start off by saying  I am not a “nosy” nor am I an “helicopter parent”, however, I do believe in “paying attention”. Now, by definition, my actions does not fit the bill.  Now that I have gotten that out way…

Recently I was chilling, doing what I do best, when I happened upon a conversation (because I was minding my business) that my sun was having with a young lady. Normally, it’s not within my auditory confines to listen to his conversations, but this time it was different. 

As I sat up, straighter, in my bed,  I constantly heard his side of what was a one sided conversation. At least from my standpoint…

Him: What you mean?

Him: So what you trying to say?

Him: So you saying I’m like all the other guys? 

Him: My name is __ don’t categorize me.

Him: You keep doing it, I’m not like them. 

Keep in mind I’m only hearing one side of the conversation. In doing so, I was so disheartened. Why you may ask? Well, let’s set the scene, you have two teens, ages 15-17 yrs of age trying to PROVE to one another their worth and reason for lack of trust from the other party. Sad state of affairs if you ask me.

Here I am a grown woman of age, *clears throat* 39 years old to be exact, and this conversation is reminiscent of conversations of old between self and my sista girl groups. Hearing this kid repeatedly attempt to soothe this young lady over to believe that he was “not like the others”, had me wondering at 15-17 yrs of age, who has let you down? Who’s raising you? 
At such a sweet, tender age of teen anything, what have you experienced that makes you not trust a kid, because they are KIDS, your age? Grant it, there’s a slew of things that may trigger the lack of trust in humanity, but I’ll start with the home on this one.
Often times, what one sees/hears within the home becomes the bible belt of their ways, until they learn to relearn for themselves. I’ve sat amongst many women with the “these men ain’t shyt” mentality. While doing so I have shared, because lawd knows I have some stories, but I do not subscribe to it. How can you when you continue to lie and/or allow them to lie in your/their bed?! Why do women choose to push the negative epitome, yet say they want a positive ending? (Men do it too, but in THIS intance I’m speaking from a woman’s perspective, mine.) When does one revere positivity and love as one? Seemingly it doesn’t start until “that one” piques your interest and you attempt to start anew until your next disappointment then it’s back to the hate.
Young women are unfortunately being raised with the same mentality of their “I wish I met you before you were hurt” mothers.  Stop spewing such negativity into the ears and onto the minds of girls who have yet to experience life, in its fullness. Unfortunately, we emulate what we see or hear most often. Good, bad or indifferent. Change the narrative, change the outcome. Allow them and yourself to love, freely, those deserving of it, without walls. Will you be disappointed, let down, angered by, the opposite sex somewhere/somehow along the way? Certainly! Must you live there? Most certainly not! 
My hope for the future is that we “change the people, in order to change the people.” I hope to not stumble upon another conversation of someone attempting to prove themselves because someone can’t see their value or worth . If so, cash me out, in totality, go where the appraisal is plentiful and never depreciates or if so, slowly. That’s when you understand and see your value, when it’s removed from the deprecation elements. There’s enough hate in today’s climate of the world. Don’t allow it to start in your home. Change the trajectory of your lifestyle and environment by changing the mindset. It’s not hard to see the forest through the trees when resolution is placed in your pathway. Be the change you want to see, adjust the frame.

Posted in entertainment, life, love, music, religion, spiritual, sports

We Are The Champions My Friend…

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Congratulations to the Jackie Robinson West little league team on clenching the  US World Series Championship title.  They came, they saw, and they conquered.  Chicago is extremely proud of these young men and their coaching staff. Amidst all the negative “history” being made in other parts of the country, these guys are making positive history and representing the southside of Chicago at the same time. While doing so they are changing the face of the game as well. Good job JRW! Onwards and Upwards!!!