Ok, first I want to start off by saying I am not a “nosy” nor am I an “helicopter parent”, however, I do believe in “paying attention”. Now, by definition, my actions does not fit the bill. Now that I have gotten that out way…
Recently I was chilling, doing what I do best, when I happened upon a conversation (because I was minding my business) that my sun was having with a young lady. Normally, it’s not within my auditory confines to listen to his conversations, but this time it was different.
As I sat up, straighter, in my bed, I constantly heard his side of what was a one sided conversation. At least from my standpoint…
Him: What you mean?
Him: So what you trying to say?
Him: So you saying I’m like all the other guys?
Him: My name is __ don’t categorize me.
Him: You keep doing it, I’m not like them.
Keep in mind I’m only hearing one side of the conversation. In doing so, I was so disheartened. Why you may ask? Well, let’s set the scene, you have two teens, ages 15-17 yrs of age trying to PROVE to one another their worth and reason for lack of trust from the other party. Sad state of affairs if you ask me.
Here I am a grown woman of age, *clears throat* 39 years old to be exact, and this conversation is reminiscent of conversations of old between self and my sista girl groups. Hearing this kid repeatedly attempt to soothe this young lady over to believe that he was “not like the others”, had me wondering at 15-17 yrs of age, who has let you down? Who’s raising you?
At such a sweet, tender age of teen anything, what have you experienced that makes you not trust a kid, because they are KIDS, your age? Grant it, there’s a slew of things that may trigger the lack of trust in humanity, but I’ll start with the home on this one.
Often times, what one sees/hears within the home becomes the bible belt of their ways, until they learn to relearn for themselves. I’ve sat amongst many women with the “these men ain’t shyt” mentality. While doing so I have shared, because lawd knows I have some stories, but I do not subscribe to it. How can you when you continue to lie and/or allow them to lie in your/their bed?! Why do women choose to push the negative epitome, yet say they want a positive ending? (Men do it too, but in THIS intance I’m speaking from a woman’s perspective, mine.) When does one revere positivity and love as one? Seemingly it doesn’t start until “that one” piques your interest and you attempt to start anew until your next disappointment then it’s back to the hate.
Young women are unfortunately being raised with the same mentality of their “I wish I met you before you were hurt” mothers. Stop spewing such negativity into the ears and onto the minds of girls who have yet to experience life, in its fullness. Unfortunately, we emulate what we see or hear most often. Good, bad or indifferent. Change the narrative, change the outcome. Allow them and yourself to love, freely, those deserving of it, without walls. Will you be disappointed, let down, angered by, the opposite sex somewhere/somehow along the way? Certainly! Must you live there? Most certainly not!
My hope for the future is that we “change the people, in order to change the people.” I hope to not stumble upon another conversation of someone attempting to prove themselves because someone can’t see their value or worth . If so, cash me out, in totality, go where the appraisal is plentiful and never depreciates or if so, slowly. That’s when you understand and see your value, when it’s removed from the deprecation elements. There’s enough hate in today’s climate of the world. Don’t allow it to start in your home. Change the trajectory of your lifestyle and environment by changing the mindset. It’s not hard to see the forest through the trees when resolution is placed in your pathway. Be the change you want to see, adjust the frame.