Posted in life, love

Who’s Raising You?

Ok, first I want to start off by saying  I am not a “nosy” nor am I an “helicopter parent”, however, I do believe in “paying attention”. Now, by definition, my actions does not fit the bill.  Now that I have gotten that out way…

Recently I was chilling, doing what I do best, when I happened upon a conversation (because I was minding my business) that my sun was having with a young lady. Normally, it’s not within my auditory confines to listen to his conversations, but this time it was different. 

As I sat up, straighter, in my bed,  I constantly heard his side of what was a one sided conversation. At least from my standpoint…

Him: What you mean?

Him: So what you trying to say?

Him: So you saying I’m like all the other guys? 

Him: My name is __ don’t categorize me.

Him: You keep doing it, I’m not like them. 

Keep in mind I’m only hearing one side of the conversation. In doing so, I was so disheartened. Why you may ask? Well, let’s set the scene, you have two teens, ages 15-17 yrs of age trying to PROVE to one another their worth and reason for lack of trust from the other party. Sad state of affairs if you ask me.

Here I am a grown woman of age, *clears throat* 39 years old to be exact, and this conversation is reminiscent of conversations of old between self and my sista girl groups. Hearing this kid repeatedly attempt to soothe this young lady over to believe that he was “not like the others”, had me wondering at 15-17 yrs of age, who has let you down? Who’s raising you? 
At such a sweet, tender age of teen anything, what have you experienced that makes you not trust a kid, because they are KIDS, your age? Grant it, there’s a slew of things that may trigger the lack of trust in humanity, but I’ll start with the home on this one.
Often times, what one sees/hears within the home becomes the bible belt of their ways, until they learn to relearn for themselves. I’ve sat amongst many women with the “these men ain’t shyt” mentality. While doing so I have shared, because lawd knows I have some stories, but I do not subscribe to it. How can you when you continue to lie and/or allow them to lie in your/their bed?! Why do women choose to push the negative epitome, yet say they want a positive ending? (Men do it too, but in THIS intance I’m speaking from a woman’s perspective, mine.) When does one revere positivity and love as one? Seemingly it doesn’t start until “that one” piques your interest and you attempt to start anew until your next disappointment then it’s back to the hate.
Young women are unfortunately being raised with the same mentality of their “I wish I met you before you were hurt” mothers.  Stop spewing such negativity into the ears and onto the minds of girls who have yet to experience life, in its fullness. Unfortunately, we emulate what we see or hear most often. Good, bad or indifferent. Change the narrative, change the outcome. Allow them and yourself to love, freely, those deserving of it, without walls. Will you be disappointed, let down, angered by, the opposite sex somewhere/somehow along the way? Certainly! Must you live there? Most certainly not! 
My hope for the future is that we “change the people, in order to change the people.” I hope to not stumble upon another conversation of someone attempting to prove themselves because someone can’t see their value or worth . If so, cash me out, in totality, go where the appraisal is plentiful and never depreciates or if so, slowly. That’s when you understand and see your value, when it’s removed from the deprecation elements. There’s enough hate in today’s climate of the world. Don’t allow it to start in your home. Change the trajectory of your lifestyle and environment by changing the mindset. It’s not hard to see the forest through the trees when resolution is placed in your pathway. Be the change you want to see, adjust the frame.

Posted in Uncategorized

36 Years, 1 Day and A Wake Up

I have been living thirty six years, one day and a wake up on this earth as of today. (Everyone say HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY LetHerTellIt) Days have been crossed off the calendar like a inmate waiting to be set free.


Matter of fact, the “one day and a wake up” metaphor is actually used by inmates to countdown their release from confinement. This is how I have begun to view my way of living as “one day and a wake up”. This symbolizes liberation, freedom,  and a new lease on life. Imagine being confined for years, unable to break free from bondage until your time has been satisfied as appointed by the judge upon your sentencing. 


Can you imagine this? I can, you know why? I have previously lived that life of bondage. My own  personal bondage within my mind of what I felt I could not do, because of a lack of preparation. Preparation of what it would look like if I was successful or a lack thereof.  Guess what? I’m out here living and shit, not fully in the way I would want but one less chain link than what I may have had beforehand. 

I have accepted that my “one day and a wake up” is meant to inspire others. Some in small ways, others on a much larger scale. Guess what? I’m prepared for whatever this may bring.  It has been stated that, “the rent you pay on earth is through serving others.” HE would have it no other way. So on my quest for liberation my “one day and a wakeup” would have meaning on a daily basis. Not because my feet touched the ground, but because I’m prepared to give freely with/from my heart. We are not guaranteed a “wakeup”, but while awake we are guaranteed a living, a life. What are you choosing to do with it? How will you impact others?

In my “one day and a wake up” I know that I have dreams that has not come into fruition as of yet. Dreams deferred yet never denied. I am beginning to live in such a way that when you look at me, you see a change, a positive change. I’m thankful for the ability to see each new day as such, a new day. What is done in this new day, solely depends on my vision of how I see each wakeup. Your “one day and a wakeup” should hold weight, not bondage, but positive weight. If you want to gain good weight and grow from the inside out, lift the weights of the world off of your shoulders and live. Live as if you are sentenced by the judge of the most high, and in this sentencing HE says reach back, reach across and reach up. When you reach back you’re helping your fellow man/woman. When reaching across you are sharing with you fellow man/woman. When reaching up you are asking for assistance from GOD.


Reach back, across, and up to grab onto whatever is needed to sustain you in your “one day and a wake up.” If you are dreaming while asleep or day dreaming while awake make it a reality and do not continue to to allow your dreams to be deferred.  There’s someone awaiting a reach back, across and up. Are you delaying yourself by denying what he has not denied you in your wake up? If so, break away from the bondage and do not let anyone or anything box you in. Until next time, “one day and a wakeup” later….LIVE!

Posted in Uncategorized

Honor Thy Word

Let’s take a journey back down memory lane why don’t we, sorta “Back To The Future” style….remember as a child asking your parent if they will take you to the park? Then they responded with, “Ok, we’ll go later.” As a child, you waited and waited, and waited to no avail for “later”(Am I the only one who experienced this as a child?). Can you place yourself in that child’s shoes for a moment and remember what that felt like when you were told something and your parent didn’t follow through? Disappointment right? Your expectations were not met, now envision that as an adult…


Ever been honest with an individual, yet everytime you spoke they stated or insinuated that you were lying? Especially when you know you were telling the truth.  How did you feel?  Not too good I bet.
Wanna know how one becomes a liar in the eye sight of the next?  Simple, by not doing what you say you’re going to do. Did you ever stop to take a gander and realize you are setting the tone to not be trustworthy, or for people to question your words and actions. Especially if you have stated you would do something,yet do the exact opposite,nothing. Have you ever stopped to re-evaluate your follow through? Did you follow up to explain the reason why you did not meet the expectation YOU may have set with said person? Communication is a necessity in any relationship. It’s the glue that brings people together, it’s the bridge that many can/will cross to mend differences.


It is the one commonality that all of us have, yet some rarely use. Lack of communication does all the aforementioned an injustice on any level.

I know we all have seen the meme that states, “if you don’t have expectations,  then there aren’t any disappointments.” How true is this statement?  Hog wash if you ask me. Why can’t you set expectations for people in your life? Not all expectations follow disappointment. Unless you live in a negative Nancy/Ned world such as this, if so I suggest a life evaluation. The expectations that we put on ourselves can very well apply to others. In a friendship, you will expect the said friend to be just as “friendly” as you are, right? In a relationship, you would expect your significant other to be as honest, respectful,  and committed as you, right? In business, you would expect for every individual to operate with dignity and integrity,  right? So again, tell me what’s wrong with expectations?


To often, as adults we operate out of the 5yr old phase of crossing our arms, poking our lips out and squinting our eyes when we’re mad. Think for a minute, how effective is this stance if no one knows the reason behind your tantrum? Not effective at all. Too many of us, myself included at times, walk around upset with people that may not be clear on why you are upset with them. Hell, some may not even care.  As I type this, I’m literally laughing because that’s the dumbest thing ever. If someone upsets you and/or did not meet an expectation, let these people know. Imagine the number of people walking around with a question mark saying, “I wonder what’s wrong with him/her?” You’re mad and the one you’re mad at doesn’t have a clue. Now how effective is that?! Effectively utilize the tool/resource that GOD has given you, your lips/mouth, and communicate (LetHerTellIt) your concerns.

You know, almost 90% of wars started, has begun by miscommunication.  It can all be so simple, communication, effective follow through, and expectations does not have to consist of warfare. All it takes is a person who’s willing to be considerate of the next and a person who is understanding, thusly creating communication matrimony.  Honor thy word so no one has to ever doubt or speak badly of you. Remember,  your word is your bond.

Posted in Uncategorized

I Want It All!

Early morning rising, preparing for work. In what has been dubbed the common grounds of my apartment,  the kitchen. As I stand browsing the fridge for my version of Sweetie Pie’s


breakfast, I turn to my son and asked, “what would you like for breakfast?” His response was, “I want it all!” at that very moment my thoughts of my child having it all became a vision.

As a parent, I have literally hoped, wished, and prayed for my son to have everything that his heart desires and more. What does that truly look like? In the quest for your child to have it all, does that mean giving it all? If your answer is yes, how do you believe your efforts would fair against what society says you/they should have?


I recall as a girl sitting in class writing on a piece of paper the name of my crush, the age and year I would graduate from high school and college. The estimated age I would be when I started my career. The age I would be married and with child.  Well, one thing I can say is that time never stopped, yet my timeline of my version of “having it all” has. Living the “American Dream” of life, love,  happiness, and liberty is what we have been conditioned to believe is the way and the light.


You know, the great job, white picket fence and 2.5 kids (has anyone figured out who the hell the .5 is as of yet? Yeah me neither…#CarryOn) is the quintessential viewpoint of what some would consider “living”.  Whose lenses are we looking through anyway?

When I think of the viewpoint of a mother of a teen living in an urban metropolitan city, I can’t help to wonder if her viewpoint is skewed? Depending on your locale, survival may be your only dream. As a mother of a teenage boy living in Anycity, U.S.A. I hate to say it, but I too have been plagued with this vision,  yet I refuse to allow this thought  process to box my child in. His statement of “wanting it all” penetrated deeply for me as his mom. The reason why is because I too want the same and hell he deserves it….and if I can help it, he will have it. Where we reside dreams are cut short by bullets, uncaring family members, lack of discipline, lack of resources and or the lack of encouragement to be better than what you see before you. I have very strong beliefs, and I believe having it all is necessary.  This does not mean materialistic objects.  I mean the tangible things…like Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs”.


If you have your basic necessities in life, then that can equate to having it all. So on my quest to rear an upstanding,  morally conscious, respectful/respectable, all around great child that would one day grow to be a gentleman I challenge myself to ensure he has it all.  I challenge you as well. What does having it all mean to you? What does that look like for you and your family? Guess what? We deserve it….so seek it. Carpe diem!