By now I am certain that many of you have seen the viral video of a precious four year old by the name of Ariyonna. In this video, she is seen having her locs done by a young lady who goes by the Instagram handle @lilwavydaddy, Ariyonna turned to the camera and belted out, “I so ugly!!” In that moment Auntie Shabria, as known as @lilwavydaddy, immediately stopped from beautifying her locs to inspirit her to how beautiful she actually is, “Don’t say that!! You are so pretty.” In that very moment, as I continued watching, I realized that I, personally, had been triggered. Seeing yet another beautiful chocolate skin child not feel pretty enough, or just “enough” was gut wrenching.
Aunt ShaSha showed Ariyonna so much empathy, reassurance, and compassion as she affirmed her and made her aware that she was indeed beautiful and utilized all the things she possessed to the physical eye to reaffirm her and more. What we witnessed from this child at that very moment was the was the unconscious programming of what is considered to be “pretty” from society. If we delve a bit further this is also an ideology passed down from family members that frequently show a distinct difference between children of different hues, children that are teased for having darker skin by other children, children who rarely see images on television that depicts similar imagery of self. When does it stop? When does loving oneself begin?
As we can see, these feelings of not being enough begins far earlier than the quintessential teenage years or adulthood. Children begin to self identify themselves to others around them much earlier in life. Aunt ShaSha exhibited the verbiage and care that many of us may have needed but never received at one time or another.
When I speak to being triggered, it’s because as a black woman, of a darker hue, I once was Ariyonna. Now a mother of a child, who is of an even darker hue, he once was Ariyonna. Personally as a youth I felt this way for various reasons, but primarily for growing up in the most formative years with children who did not look like me. How does one self identify with someone who is an unequal counterpart? You don’t. Thank GOD for deliverance!! As a mother, I have had to be the Aunt ShaSha in this video to my own child, myself even as well as others. For me, it was easier to build my son up from the inside out, because I too experienced the same things, so I had the verbiage to help him navigate through those feelings of not being “seen” (oh, but now….sheesh!!)
This is what’s needed more in our communities, hell, society as a whole. People who understand the proper verbiage that can help someone else get over the hump. I’ve said it once, and I will say it again, speak to your child as you would want someone to speak to you.
Affirming the things within our children that others would use (or attempt) to use to tear them down is the one thing that gives them positioning. That positioning that I speak of, is knowing who they are and not being swayed by another’s opinion of self. I am thankful that this little lady had someone to come in and plant a seed of greatness and watered her with beautification of self. Prayerfully, these seeds will bloom to beautiful extensions of flowers that will continue to plant seeds and blossom an ideology of beauty and self love from here on out. Kudos to Ariyonna, baby girl you are beautiful and I pray that you always remember who you are….
LetHerTellIt 